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The swovine. A simple, yet astonishing animal who seems a little odd from its brethren, the bovine. Some distinct personality traits and physical traits are that they look kind of similar to the cow, but can stand on two legs. This particular animal is all cute and cuddly during the day, but at night, they are covert operatives that work for the Navy SEALs, taking out all the baddies of the world. Usually, you can find this animal in the great plains of the world, grazing them with creeks or streams nearby. This is because there is usually an abundant portion of salmon, the only food they eat. No water, no other foods, just salmon. The swovine get their name from perspiring to an extreme extant. The same goes for sneezing. As these are just traits of the swovine, it is also symptoms to the one and only sickness the can receive; the flu. Just a regular stomach flu. When this happens, the sick swovine is sacrificed to the swovine god, Big Swove. Then and only then will Big Swove descend from the heavens to take the sick swovine with him back to the heavens. During this, all that witness this must be bowing down in order for the swovine to be sacrificed. The importance of this is to give hope to the sick and dying swovine as the god vouchsafes them holiness. If this isn't the greatest animal in the world... screw you.
As we drove through America's great plains, I spotted a herd of swovine grazing and catching salmon near a stream.
by McBitchin July 09, 2014
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