squirrel pants 

The bulge that appears out of a man's crotch when he wears a Speedo. Looks like a squirrel caught in his Speedo. Really gross to see. Even more gross to imagine what it must feel like for him. To have a Speedo closed that tight in that area can't be comfy.

I was sitting in the hottub, relaxing after swimming for an hour, and who what should come into my line of sight then Mr. Squirrel Pants. I looked away promptly, then just got out of the hottub to make sure I wouldn't see him again.

squirrel pants by the moo December 14, 2008

Squirrels in my pants 

A song from Phineas and Ferb, but referingto having crabs. Aka, pubic lice. A bug thay makes your itch really bad in the crotch. It feels like you have 'squirrels in you pants'

P1: hey man can I talk to you?
P2: yeah what's up?
P1: you know that girl I slept with the other night?
P2: yeahhhhh
P1: well... Think I have squirrels in my pants.

Squirrels in my pants by Toastybunzzz November 3, 2022