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Write very badly every conceivable message, including wannabe-professional e-mails sent to customers. Usually following lousy grammar rules, making use of all the acronyms a 13-yrs. old girl may have learned on ICQ, and the abbreviations needed when SMS-ing friends.

One wonders if spell checkers are banned in Pakistan and India. But again, it might be a clever plan to fool spam filters.

However, it is not only a matter of grammar, also of form: normally all missives start with three or four sentences enquiring about the good health of the recipient, have about one central sentence which conveys the message (or not), and end with another four-five sentences of salutation (again). These latter lines mostly appeal to some deity the recipient is supposed to believe in.

Corollary: the same e-mail may be written in less than five words, saving you and them more time.
From personal records, slightly shortened:

"Dear Mr. Xyzzy Wyzzy,

we hope to find u and ur family in good health, an that ur fine an Egregious company is doing well. I would like to write to you about a SERIOUS business ofer that we r very sure will be of great interest to you, if God allows.

We offer our support services to track sending shipments to country name through teh sea. We manage all steps of shipment including confronting with harbour authoritis and expediting papers.

Plz cntact us back ASAP. We very much like to do business with u regarding . May God watch upon You.

Dr. PhD. Mr. Ah. MD. Name
Executive Manager Director to Sales and Director of Customer Support Service"

Me: "Oh no, another one spelling like a Paki. Trash the email without reading it."
by crnobog September 26, 2011
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