A type of person that Peter Griffin refused to allow to dine in the family restaurant in the episode "No Meals On Wheels," characterized as a goofy man with little hair speaking in a ridiculous voice - which gives the viewer no real idea of what a "smallwig" may actually be - and for some reason, is not defined anywhere on the Internet (save for the 2 million search results returning offers for tiny wigs for people with tiny heads) which just proves once again that Family Guy is a stupid ass cartoon sitcom that makes no fucking sense and should have never been brought back on the air after it was cancelled the first time.

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods