A mentally impaired, transcendentally abrasive and pusillanimous white male of college age. Frequently intoxicated, boisterous and devoid of all social graces, a shitwink commonly (though not invariably) sports birdshit hair: that is, a heavily gelled, purposefully mussed coiffure, à la mode moderne. His physiognomy is distinctive: dull, vacant eyes coupled with a perpetual, rodentine snarl. In general bearing, his countenance has been likened to that of an "oily child molester" or a "closeted, men's room-haunting frot." His repertoire of vocalizations is limited; moreover, he is seldom heard unless in the presence of other shitwinks, in whose company he freely uses such standard calls as "beer me," "wooo yeah," and "aight." Nocturnal rounds of bestial yelping are also reported--apparently intended as a territorial "warning" to non-shitwinks. Beyond issuing social and territorial vocalizations, the shitwink's time is chiefly invested in the following three activities: 1.) imbibing alcohol; 2.) harassing his peaceable neighbors (an activity pursued only from within the safety of a shitpack and often under cover of darkness); and 3.) lording it over his shitbitch. When alone and exposed to daylight they are timid, quavering creatures. Commonly abbreviated "wink." Cf. "Shitneck"
"Hey, Bill, ain't that a shitwink?"
"Yeah, Melchizedek, that fellow is a shitwink."
"Please hand me that blade, Bill."
"Why, Mechizedek?"
"I'm gonna shank that facking 'wink!"
"Oh! Oh! May I please narc him with this rusty, jagged shiv--by way of a coup de grace?"
"Yes, you may, Bill."
"Yeah, Melchizedek, that fellow is a shitwink."
"Please hand me that blade, Bill."
"Why, Mechizedek?"
"I'm gonna shank that facking 'wink!"
"Oh! Oh! May I please narc him with this rusty, jagged shiv--by way of a coup de grace?"
"Yes, you may, Bill."
by Big Butter and Eggs Man (From Waaaay Out in da West) November 11, 2005
Get the shitwink mug.Ugh, there sure is a powerful shitwind coming from that bathroom.
Arr, matey, there's a shitwind a blowin'!
Arr, matey, there's a shitwind a blowin'!
by creaternity May 15, 2006
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shitwink
• shitwind
• shitwanker
• shitdink
• Shitinkle
• shittwinkle
• shitwick
• shitbink
• Shithinker
• Shitlinks
by The Roaring Forties July 21, 2017
Get the Shitwankery mug.Whilst one man is having a standard shit wank, a second man sits on his lap cowboy style and shits between his legs, whilst simultaneously jerking them both off with theirs cocks pressed up against each others
I was having a sneaky shitwank when my man lover Plunky sat down on my lap and joined me for a good ol nullagine tandem cowboy shitwank of monstrous proportions. We simultaneously owned the toilet whilst setting off jizz fireworks all of the bathroom ceiling
by Bumfluff June 25, 2014
Get the nullagine tandem cowboy shitwank mug.Shitwanker can commonly be applied to the French, sweat-heads, minge-bags and scum. The term shitwanker originated when some of the French attempted munging a 1 month old corpse, in this occurrence however, the French decided that they would stamp on the stomach of the corpse with a jar inserted into the anus of the corpse. After filling the jar with maggots, faeces/feces they capped the lid and removed the sphincter of the corpse with a rusty spoon(other instruments do not invalidate the verb). This was then placed in the jar with the waste and excrement harvested earlier.
Once the group arrived in their zero bedroom flat in Paris, they removed the excrement from the jar and molded it with their bare hands to a size that could fit in the sphincter, following this, the group egg-washed the excrement to lubricate it, inserted the excrement into the sphincter and finally baked the waste for 30 minutes at around 120 degrees C, at the end of this time they carefully removed the bake from the oven, leaving it for 2 hours to cool. At the end of this time, lubricant was rubbed onto the bake, the sphincter was dislodged from the golden-brown egg-wash crust, covered in lubricant. One of the group would eagerly move the sphincter along the bake, appearing to wank the shit.
Henceforth this action became known as Shitwanking.
Once the group arrived in their zero bedroom flat in Paris, they removed the excrement from the jar and molded it with their bare hands to a size that could fit in the sphincter, following this, the group egg-washed the excrement to lubricate it, inserted the excrement into the sphincter and finally baked the waste for 30 minutes at around 120 degrees C, at the end of this time they carefully removed the bake from the oven, leaving it for 2 hours to cool. At the end of this time, lubricant was rubbed onto the bake, the sphincter was dislodged from the golden-brown egg-wash crust, covered in lubricant. One of the group would eagerly move the sphincter along the bake, appearing to wank the shit.
Henceforth this action became known as Shitwanking.
"I bet they are eager to shitwank again, although I really would rather not have my corpse shitwanked, I would really like to become a shitwanker"
by Europe. January 28, 2015
Get the Shitwanker mug.by Intervallo March 25, 2009
Get the Shitwank mug.by Voyergirl April 24, 2006
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