Hym "Self-Checkout Theft... I was
high both times... And I have ADD... And I rang-up all of my items... And got distracted by a thought (probably about THIS or something peripherally associated to THIS)... And then I just grabbed them and walked away... And BOTH TIMES... I got to the door and realized that I... Just haven'
t been paying attention to what my body has been doing for the last 60 seconds and was
like 'Oh, shit, wait.. Did I pay for any of this? Oh no! Did anybody see that, shit!' And I know for a fact... That if anybody DID see me... They would think that I was going to steal the shit but I chicken out at the last minute but THAT ISN'T WHAT HAPPENED, I SWEAR! If I wanted to steal from a
Walmart I would do it with
confidence and get away with it BECAUSE I'M A
GENIUS!!! But no... I just forgot... I ate some edibles before going to the store... And, you know... Oops."