by baby mongoose December 15, 2009
Hym "Self-Checkout Theft... I was high both times... And I have ADD... And I rang-up all of my items... And got distracted by a thought (probably about THIS or something peripherally associated to THIS)... And then I just grabbed them and walked away... And BOTH TIMES... I got to the door and realized that I... Just haven't been paying attention to what my body has been doing for the last 60 seconds and was like 'Oh, shit, wait.. Did I pay for any of this? Oh no! Did anybody see that, shit!' And I know for a fact... That if anybody DID see me... They would think that I was going to steal the shit but I chicken out at the last minute but THAT ISN'T WHAT HAPPENED, I SWEAR! If I wanted to steal from a Walmart I would do it with confidence and get away with it BECAUSE I'M A GENIUS!!! But no... I just forgot... I ate some edibles before going to the store... And, you know... Oops."
by Hym Iam March 27, 2024