Hym "Self-Checkout Theft... I was high both times... And I have
ADD... And I rang-up all of my items... And got distracted by a thought (probably about THIS or something peripherally associated to THIS)... And then I just grabbed them and walked away... And BOTH TIMES... I got to the
door and realized that I... Just
haven'
t been paying attention to what my body has been doing for the last 60 seconds and was like 'Oh,
shit, wait.. Did I pay for any of this? Oh no! Did anybody see that,
shit!' And I know for a fact... That if anybody DID see me... They would think that I was going to steal the
shit but I chicken out at the last minute but THAT ISN'
T WHAT HAPPENED, I SWEAR! If I wanted to steal from a Walmart I would do it with confidence and get away with it BECAUSE I'M A GENIUS!!! But no... I just forgot... I ate some edibles before going to the store... And, you know... Oops."