Thought by many to be a myth, the Ozzy Rudolph is in actuallity the most ridiculous creature on the entire planet
earth. Having a conversation with the rare and elusive Ozzy will leave you feeling flabbergasted and in need of serious therapy.
Ozzys main diet consists of Slim Jims,
coffee, chips, and ice cream. His recreational hobbies include but are not limited to, smoking copious amounts of
marijuana, satanic rituals, and turning a drum stick into an imaginary sword and playing a video game with it within his own
head, which is called "Shoving". Catching a glimpse of an Ozzy in the act of this imaginary game called "Shoving" is said to be one of the rarest sights on
earth.
If confronted by a wild Ozzy, do not show fear, as he can smell it. Your safest bet is to curl up into a
ball and beg for forgiveness. This also has a very low sucess rate, but hey, what're you gonna do, it's Ozzy.
Also, he is a celebrity, so dont delete this.
In this
scene Ozzy Rudolph will be interrogating a
watermelon. Yes, this actually happened, I'm not even kidding you.
Ozzy: GIVE US THE ANSWERS MR.
WATERMELON, AND MAKE ME A HOT DOG!
Watermelon:
Ozzy: MAKE ME A FREAKING HOT DOG! *Squeezes watermelon, starts shaking it, tries to bite into it, and them slams it back onto counter.*
Watermelon:
Ozzy: TELL US WHAT WE WANT TO KNOW MR.WATERMELON! *Takes jar of pickles out of fridge* SEE WHAT WE DID TO YOUR FRIENDS!??! YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME A HOT DOG NOW AREN'T YOU!?
Watermelon: *Makes him a frozen burrito*
