To masturbate, by not actually consciously moving your hand.

The best option is to wait for an earthquake (Though this may be a rare occurrence in some parts of the world not along a fault line) but that is what makes the situation even more romantic when the time eventually comes (pun).

Follow these steps:

Step 1 - Hold genitalia tightly in hand (Not too tight).

Step 2 - Wait for earthquake (Warning: May take time).

Step 3 - Let the quake do the shake.

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods