proppershopper 

A female that drags unwilling participants around a maze of shops which sells various miniature garments at ridiculous prices. She will walk slowly picking up what she perceives to be a “bargain” and occasionally purrs to herself. The time spent in one shop varies from female to female but can be anywhere between 30 minutes and 6 days without food or water. The male of the species only known as man will at some point asked to be relieved of his duty as bag handler so that he may rest and feed. A beating will then ensue. Eventually the women will exchange paper or sometimes a rectangular plastic card for the material she desires and they will leave for their nest, where the female will decide that her purchases were unsuitable.

The women went shopping with her male companion on Oxford Street, London. They were both holding hands. Unfortunately, after 2 years in a descent relationship with her he had not realised that she was a “proppershopper”. Days later his carcass was found bloodied and mutilated floating off the coast of Africa. All wounds appeared to be self inflicted.

proppershopper by Mikeyjah June 24, 2006