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muttstache

A scraggly mustache/goatee that has many different colored hairs in it (brown, blond, red, grey, etc), particularly in patches, resembling the fur coat of a mongrel, or mutt.

May or may not be disgusting in appearance.
That guy with the shaved head and goatee looked all hardcore until I saw his muttstache. Now he just looks like a redneck hillbilly skinhead reject, who likes country music, shotguns, and trucks with large tires on them.

Thanks for applying to the open management position. After careful consideration of your qualifications, we have decided to pursue a candidate who did not have a muttstache, and who would not pass for Jeff Foxworthy from a distance.

There ain't NUTHIN more 'Merican then.. coun'try myusic, bein listened to on a boombox by a guy with an awesome muttstache.

The West Virginia politician's constituents admired him for his honesty, charisma, and his neatly groomed muttstache.
muttstache by Bbungus May 6, 2010
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molasses mustache 

A mustache that's dripping wet With feces and seamen like a dirty Sanchez but without the pubes
After a long night at the rest stop bob had a molasses mustache from all the rides he'd been giving
molasses mustache by blumpkin25 February 8, 2015

mustache dip my dream sickle 

A polite way for a female partner to ask for cunnilingus.
Hey Big Rod, do you want to mustache dip my dream sickle? It sure is tasty!

mustache cash stash 

Dude we should call our band mustache cash stash
mustache cash stash by Louiloui September 17, 2013

Mustache Fairy 

The Mustache Fairy leaves evidence of what the mustache bearer did the night before while drunk, within his or her mustache.
Mustached man: "I have no idea what I did last night, but apparently I drank a lot of beer."

Concerned friend: "I think you banged a chicken; the Mustache Fairy left a feather in your mustache."

Mustached man: "Yeah, and it stinks like beer and hot wings."
Mustache Fairy by iBetty February 4, 2012

agui mustache

A mustache on the upper lip of a teen who hasn't hit puberty yet and resembles pubic hair on the upper lip
Yo did you see Chris today he had an Agui Mustache

urinal mustache 

When the mens room at your office building has not been cleaned for an amount of time that allows the rim of the urinal to collect pubic hair. The collection then appears like a mustache on the rim.
I almost puked when I had to use the restroom and the urinal mustache tickled my hand.
urinal mustache by halpleh November 1, 2008