mousterbation 

The act of moving a PC mouse back and forth frantically in the hope the computer will work more efficiently.

"Stop mousterbating! It won't make it load any faster..." or "All he does all day is mousterbate!" or "If he carries on with his mousterbation, the PC will crash!"

mousterbation by scotty037 April 9, 2009

museterbation

Getting yourself off or touching yourself inappropriately while listening to the greatest band ever, Muse.

After listening to "Supermassive Black Hole" I had to engage in a round of museterbation.

museterbation by Alan Broder June 13, 2007

Management Masterbation 

When Management does something purely for their gratification that will produce nothing.

Team building exersizes, employee surveys are just a few examples of management masterbation.

Management Masterbation by jayray59 May 6, 2010

mysterbation

Hitting your own profile and reading your own comments or blogs.

Really stupid example: when you comment on your own blogs, you are using mysterbation.

mysterbation by Doug Narby March 2, 2007

violent masterbation 

Masterbating in an extreme manner; associated with shaking, yelling, high speed, and possibly pain.

Josh had the greatest money-shots ever, but he died from too much violent masterbation.

violent masterbation by Bigg N October 27, 2006

molesterbation 

To forcefully go fuck yourself against your own will.

Holy shit, Marston! Why must you engage in acts of molesterbation?

molesterbation by czainsaw July 16, 2008

Masterbation 

Jacking off
Whacking off
Beating off
Smacking the ho
Beating the pig
Whipping the Wayne
Slapping the salami

Whacking the wand
Punishing the pubs
Burning the beet
Beating the beef
Beating the meat
Jerking the jerky
Jerkin' the gherkin
Working the slave
Choking the chicken
Or
In redneck terms
Buttering the corn
Revving the engine
Or
Hunting the deer

I want to choke my chicken to nicki Minaj that's Masterbation

Masterbation by Big baller 2000 January 18, 2016