milfturbate

Verb. To stimulate the genitals whilst thinking of imagery of mature women. Strictly forbidden under Catholic doctrine.

Sinner: "Bless me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "Confess your sins my son and let the Lord see into your soul."
Sinner: "My mom had some of her friends round for a Women's Institute meeting and I was serving them tea and cakes. Later that night I indulged myself with a furious session of milfturbation in the bathroom thinking of them in their flouncy blouses."
Priest: "Wicked boy! Say three hundred Hail Marys and scrub your hands with bleach and steel wool!"

milfturbate by Wizards Sleeve May 22, 2005

Minsturbate 

Original meaning: Mind-masturbate or masturbate with your imagination or mind.
Better used as: have to think so hard about something that it's almost like you have to masturbate with your mind.

Or simply use the short MM for mind-masturbate.

Bill: Dude, what's up, you look fuck-up!
Gabe: Man, the exam was so hard, I had to minsturbate the answer!

Minsturbate by benweiss9 September 10, 2010

Mindturbate 

v. To be so intoxicated on halluciengenic drugs that you become completely self-absorbed and lost in a thought, or in some dark, depraved corner of your own mind. Usually brought on by a mindfuck, epiphany or some other other narcotic-indueced revelation.

I was so baked I sat and mindturbated for what seemed like hours

Mindturbate by picklez with a zed February 16, 2010

mailsturbate 

Writing an e-mail to one's self

I got this e-mail from my personal e-mail address and mailsturbated it to my company address.

mailsturbate by jpmswiss December 20, 2007