A great way to wrap up a rambling drunken voicemail to someone. When executed properly, you
will achieve three things:
1- You
will appear to be actually smarter than the recipient, because they
will assume you either speak another language they have never heard, or are referencing pop culture they are unaware of
2- The rest of your idiocy in your message will be overshadowed by this shocking soliloquy change
3- You'
ll get talked about, and really any press is good press.
Drunk guy leaving a message: " Heyyyyy, how are you? I don’t know why you’re ignoring me, I didn’t do anything
wrong. Um. Yeah, like, what the, what happened man, we like didn’t meet up… right? And then next thing you know you just don’t wanna talk to me now? You know you’re going to see me when the summer
time comes. And you’re gonna see me, and I’m going to be jacked out and you’re gonna be like, “fuck, I coulda duh duh duh duh” or you gonna hear about a
girl that i was with and be like, “What he like what and he what his what with what in the what!?” and then you’re going to be like, “Daaaamn.” So let’s skip all that and let’s start talking again cuz I didn’t do anything mean to you or bad to you, we just couldn’t freaking get on the same wavelength of
time to make a date to hang out. This
time, let’s just meet and boom, quick and easy, ba-
da liki mala
da shini malaga, and everything’s cool, alright? Ok. Bye."
