Specifically when a male masturbates or strokes his erect genitalia and would like someone to know it. Used mainly for describing to a significant other over phone calls or public that you are/have masturbating. The reason you would use this term and not just outright say it would be due to things like: They're parents are in the room, you're in a public place, they have you on phone speaker, etc.

"Hey,"
"Hey!"
"Am I on speaker?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Oh I'm just calling to let you know I'm petting my dog.."
"Oh..."
*Takes off speaker*

I'm Petting My Dog by HipstaSquirrel September 6, 2016

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i may be named duke but i’m not a dog

an iconic quote duke depp said on a dukemoose livestream

duke depp once said: “ i may be named duke but i’m not a dog! ”

i may be named duke but i’m not a dog by dukesthirdtrashcan March 24, 2021

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I'm gonna kick my dog

Something one says when their upset, but not really mad, just something funny to say to relieve stress cause no one would really kick their dog.

Guy 1: " I just missed my last 10 shots, "I'm gonna kick my dog"
Guy 2: " Really your gonna go home and kick your dog?"
Guy 1: "No i'm JK".

I'm gonna kick my dog by kaleb _ Dahlgren January 26, 2009

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i'm not fucking this dog, just holding it's head

Used to describe your non-involvment in anything that you are watching in person. Especially if what you are watching is not something someone should be doing.

Another way of saying "Don't ask me, I just work here" or "I'm just a by stander to this party"

Person A: Why is that guy got his dick hanging over the banister
You: i'm not fucking this dog, just holding it's head.

i'm not fucking this dog, just holding it's head by WilliamTaylor January 5, 2008

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I'm gonna EAT YO DOG!

what you say when someone pisses you off. also the terms:
I'm gonna SHIT ON YO COUCH!
I'm gonna CHEW ON YO BELLY BUTTON!
I'm gonna SNORT YO FERRET!
I'm gonna CUT YO HEAD OFF WITH A TOOTH BRUSH!
I'm gonna MAKE YOU TEABAG A CACTUS!
I'm gonna DROPKICK A BRICK WALL!
I'm gonna FART IN YO CEREAL
I'm gonna PISS IN YO LAMP
I'm gonna DRYHUMP YO TAMPON
I'm gonna PUKE IN YO SHOES
(fag's name here) is a stupid name
I'm gonna SQUAT IN YO SHRUBBERY
I'm gonna SPRAYPAINT YO HORSE! (NEIGH)
I'm gonna CHOP DOWN YO TREE WITH A FISH STICK

Jake: You're such a fag
Tyler: I'm gonna eat yo dog!

I'm gonna EAT YO DOG! by jakedtyled January 23, 2010

countrypolitan

Term used to describe someone who is a mix of both rural (country) and urban (metropolitan) lifestyles/upbringings. He/she is typically equally comfortable in both settings and is able to seamlessly slip back and forth between the two, appreciating the characteristics of each.

That ol' gal of mine drives the 12 lane freeway during the week and a John Deere on the weekends. She likes opra and the Grand Ol' Opry. I love them countrypolitan women.

countrypolitan by MOChick November 7, 2006

Word of the Day on November 1, 2026

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Witch Bath

A bath consisting of a variety of slats, oils, soaps or any other added ingredients such as fruits, milks, herbs or any other spices for health or beautifying benifits.

She brought home alot of stuff and took it to the bathroom. She must be taking a witch bath.

Witch Bath by carnieboy30 October 26, 2020

Word of the Day on October 31, 2026

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kinktober

An excuse for people to write porn with different types of kinks throughout the month of October.

Smut Fanfiction

That chick doesn't write often but when she does, its for Kinktober.

kinktober by Kinkiest July 12, 2018

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proper lad

a lad that is such a lad that he is a proper lad

person1:did you see bob
person2: ya he was a proper lad

proper lad by its_ya_boi_chips_ahoy May 20, 2018

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sexspan

The number of years you are still sexually active

While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.

sexspan by Dr Kat April 21, 2022

Word of the Day on October 28, 2026

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