A layer of toilet paper (usually somewhere between 3 and 8 pieces) laid down on the surface of
water within the toilet bowl before one has a bowel movement. This layer of toilet paper, or ‘landing pad’, serves a 3-fold purpose: (1) To prevent the dreaded splashback effect caused by the fecal displacement of
water; (2) To soften the “KER-PLUNK!” sound that often occurs when feces breaks the surface tension of the
water (this is particularly effective because the toilet paper disables the properties of
water’
s surface tension by acting as a semi-permeable membrane, a sort of dampening medium between
water and air; further, the speed of the displacement of the
water is lessened, which makes for a much softer noise); and (3) To bring about an awareness of the TP supply before use, negating any chance that one might have a bowel movement, only to look over and notice that there is no toilet paper.
Johnny: "Dude, I went to meet my girlfriend'
s parents for the first time last night. Halfway through the night I realised that I needed to take a massive dump, which was uncomfortable because the bathroom was next to the living room where they were sitting, and the house was dead quiet"
Billy: "No way,
man... what did you do?"
Johnny: "I built a wicked landing pad, so not only did they not hear me, but I was also able to stay as dry as a cracker for the whole experience. What a night it was!"
