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jalapanus

the burning, stinging ring of fire that is the anus following the defecation of a very spicy meal
Pete: "FUCK!!... that habenero cook-off contest at Howie's house yesterday is causing me excruciating jalapanus this morning!!"

Paul: "dude... light a match"

Pete: "it feels like i already did"
by joxn August 3, 2007
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jalapeñis

A medical affliction caused to a man when he touches jalapeño and then forgets to wash his hands before using the bathroom.
jalapeñis is A medical affliction caused to a man when he touches jalapeño and then forgets to wash his hands before using the bathroom.
by EOC September 19, 2013
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Jalapenis

The burning feeling felt after forgetting to wash your hands after handling chilies, and then urinating.
He walked out of the toilets in pain, a severe case of jalapenis ..... will teach him to wear rubber gloves next time he cooks mexican!
by El Craigo May 27, 2008
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Jalapenis

The horrific burning sensation that occurs if you forget to wash your hands after chopping jalapenos and then go to the bathroom and/or partake in a little self- or other-loving. May also be known as jalagina.
"I had too much corona while making tacos and had to take a piss. My jalapenis is killing me."

"Barry started giving me some loving in the kitchen. Little did I know that he had been chopping peppers. My jalagina is the worst."
by JMRY October 26, 2013
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Jalapenis

Stinging and burning sensation associated with handling ones genitals after eating chicken wings or other highly seasoned foods without first washing one's hands.
Shortly after Jim excused himself for the bathroom, his friends heard a muffled scream through the bathroom door. Looking at his half-finished plate of buffalo wings, they all concluded that he was probably suffering from an acute case of Jalapenis. spicy, hot, penis, genitals
by Sixgun101 June 20, 2015
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Jalapenis

Whilst wearing a sombrero or pancho, take a condom, dip it in the Atomic sauce at Quaker and rub ghost chili's on it, then fuck a girl in preferably the butthole, but the vagina will do.
To spice up their sex life Sal and Emily tried the Jalapenis, needless to say Emily couldn't walk right for about two weeks.
by salandemily123 September 26, 2011
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jalapenos

1.)hallow penis
2.) a spicy vegetable
I love jalapenos, except Jon Fall's is a hollow one
by Kendra fan February 21, 2008
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