House on a Finger

A very large, very expensive ring bought for one's wife as a bribe. The ring makes the statement, "I've cheated on you, but you and I both know that I can buy your forgiveness because we are both shallow fucks."

Kobe Bryant: Here, baby...I hope this house on a finger makes up for the fact that I forced anal sex on a hotel worker and violated our marriage vows all in the same stroke.

(OR)

Tiger Woods: Here baby...I hope this house on a finger makes up for all the skank tapping I've been doing lately. Please don't beat my ass with a golf club anymore...

by justsaynotocheatingasswipe November 30, 2009