fuckapuss
A mutated cross between an alligator, a platipus, and an octopus, often resmbling a massive penis. According to urban myth is an escaped animal from government testing. In reality, there is no Bogeyman, the monsters under small childrens' beds accross the nation are undoubtedly descendants of the very first fuckapuss which escaped into the wild in 1995.
The mating call of the fuckapuss is "nomnomnom" this is often confused with the sound of squeaking floorboards, therefore fuckapusses often go unnoticed until it is too late. By then, the victim has been raped and left to keep track of precisely 52 fuckapuss children. That is how fuckapusses reproduce, since they are all born male. Fuckapusses can also empregnate men. Therefore, a fuckapuss's best suited environment is under the beds of small children, altough single adults who live alone are also prime targets.
The mating call of the fuckapuss is "nomnomnom" this is often confused with the sound of squeaking floorboards, therefore fuckapusses often go unnoticed until it is too late. By then, the victim has been raped and left to keep track of precisely 52 fuckapuss children. That is how fuckapusses reproduce, since they are all born male. Fuckapusses can also empregnate men. Therefore, a fuckapuss's best suited environment is under the beds of small children, altough single adults who live alone are also prime targets.
Small child: Mommy! A fuckapuss came out from under my bed and tried to rape me!
Mother: Relax, there are no such things as monsters. You just had a nightmare. Go back to bed.
Mother: Relax, there are no such things as monsters. You just had a nightmare. Go back to bed.
fuckapuss by Baileywatercolors November 3, 2009