Five O’clock Vodka is the cheapest fifth in almost any liquor store guaranteed. Mineral spirits disguised as a fifth. Upon drinking, the brave souls must sign a mental waiver guaranteeing explosive diarrhea in exchange for waking up in a dumpster with 2 Chinese hookers, an extreme headache, and 2 packs of pall mall ultra lights. It’s the gift that keeps giving until you find yourself in the throes of rejection forcing yourself to vomit over and over. But at 5.99 a fifth, I’ll take my chances. Buyer beware.
Dan purchased a fifth of five o’clock vodka, and woke up the next morning in a space station watching loony tunes reruns, tied to a stripper pole
by AssEatersGlobal March 29, 2018
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