Boss: Tony why you are late coming back from lunch!?!
Tony: Sorry boss, I had an appointment.
Boss: Oh, is everything alright?
Tony: Yea, turns out I just needed to get a Deuceotomy.
Boss: That sound serious...
Tony: Yea, it was pretty shitty.
The dilemna you face when you can't work out whether a girl on the train is pregnant and you must give up your seat for her, or simply fat and should remain standing for the rest of the journey.
That pregnant woman over there has been standing for an hour, you consider the fat or pregnant dichotomy so you ask her if she'd like to have your seat, but she punches you in the face, because she is not pregnant, she is just fat.
When a person graduates from college, although they have a degree they may not be able to get a job because they don’t have experience. But, they can’t get experience unless they get a job.
The term was first coined by Dain Lewis on his blog the smart college grad.
Jack graduated from college with a degree in business. But, Jack didn't work at any businesses while in college. Jack then couldn't get a job after college because he didn't have experience. But, he couldn't gain any experience because no one would hire him. Jack found himself in the college graduate dichotomy.
A man who has completely opposite physical and mental effects on a woman. For example, a complete asshole that makes your legs shake. Or, an amazing soul that makes you swoon, but has a tic-tac.
"I can't believe I'm calling up this dickotomy again, but I'm feelinglonely tonight."
1.
Louise: I love cats.
Keisha: why don’t you like dogs?
Louise: I like both, liking cats and liking dogs aren’t mutually exclusive. Thinking they are is a false dichotomy.
2.
Person 1: I’m not a liberal.
Person 2: so you’re a conservative?
Person 1: no I’m independent. Why do people see politics as a false dichotomy.
Term used to describe someone who is a mix of both rural (country) and urban (metropolitan) lifestyles/upbringings. He/she is typically equally comfortable in both settings and is able to seamlessly slip back and forth between the two, appreciating the characteristics of each.
That ol' gal of mine drives the 12lane freeway during the week and a John Deere on the weekends. She likes opra and the Grand Ol' Opry. I love them countrypolitan women.
A bath consisting of a variety of slats, oils, soaps or any other added ingredients such as fruits, milks, herbs or any other spices for health or beautifying benifits.
She brought home alot of stuff and took it to the bathroom. She must be taking a witch bath.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.
You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.