doucheboard

Those $400 segways without the handle that all viners have that make you like the the absolute biggest fuckboy douchebag in the world. Some retards may call it a hoverboard, but since there are two wheels that touch the ground, it doesn't hover. Someone on a doucheboard may be

-Wearing a flat brim hat backwards
-Wearing those long shirts that go down to your thigh
-Wearing skinny jeans
-Wearing huge Nike high tops
-Making a Musical.ly
-Making a Vine
-Sending pictures of his tiny dick to girls twice his age on Snapchat
-Bringing cancer to all

"Hey, why's that douche on a segway without a handle? "
"It's called a doucheboard."
"Wow I think I'm gonna kill myself now"

by Papa Squirt July 24, 2016

douchetard

A way to describe someone currently acting like a douche in an attempt to get them to rethink the actions they have taken in their life.

Habid, why are you being such a douchetard to the kind lovely and sweet lady who shows you nothing but love and affection?

by jossthegreat December 17, 2013

douchetard

An insulting term for someone who is simultaneously a "douche"
(i.e., an asshole, jerk, jackass) and a "retard." Expresses both unpleasantness of personality AND stupidity at once.

That asshole is too dumb to even come up with a coherent insult. What a douchetard.

by Mr. X April 4, 2005

Fuckass Douchetard

For when fucker and douchenozzle just don't adequately describe the person or situation.

"Tucker Bush is a fuckass douchetard"

by DanforthMullins December 21, 2007

douchelord

1.Person/s that demonstrates all the qualities of being a douche so well, they could in fact be a deity among douches.
2.The lord and messiah of all douches.

that guy is one douchelord

by Nev October 29, 2004

social douchetard

a socially challenged person with douchey traits

Polly is a douche with no social skills.

Therefore Polly is a social douchetard.

by thesmoothoperator June 16, 2010

EX-DOUCHEBAND

A man you married because you loved him and thought he loved you back. Until he suffered a mid-life crisis and met someone cuter, skinnier, richer or hornier and decides to dump you off in another state without support, cuts off your alimony and sleeps with your best friend on the down low.

Sophia "Hey girl, why you lookin so depressed the last few months? Come out dancinggg with us!!"

Heather "OMG Sophie, IDK..I wish I could afford it, but working these 3 jobs has got me exhausted..."

Sophia "Girrrrl....this is all cause of your EX-DOUCHEBAND Remind me never to get married..."

by ChristyLeeHughes August 14, 2010