cocmast 

Not to be confused with a misspelling of Comcast. Cocmast is a covert abbreviation of the term "cockmaster" (see definition) for use in a formal or public setting wherin penis garglers may be found. Upon spotting of said dick destroyer, person A will expound to person B the severity of their "cocmast" bill in relation to the perceived level of the spotted cockmaster's cock mastery.

Bob: "Hey Bill. how much do you think this month's cocmast is gonna be?"
Bill: "At least 150 dicks--I mean dollars."

cocmast by kewlbeanzdood November 7, 2013

Comcast Gambit 

The untimely and prolonged malfunction of an internet connection resulting in great inconvenience, such as the forfeiture of an online chess match/tournament. Dubbed by the chess master and Youtube personality Jerry (ChessNetwork).

This phrase is a merging of two terms: the terrible internet provider (Comcast) with the chess term (gambit), a tactical and deliberate sacrifice of a chess piece. However, the Comcast Gambit is unique from all others in that it fails to be either voluntary or tactical.

1. Marcellus, with the black pieces, found himself in a superior position with a time advantage in a blitz chess match. To his opponent's relief, the Comcast Gambit was then played, resulting in an immediate win for white.

2. After completing his essay final by 11:55 pm, Leland proceeded to submit it online before the 11:59 pm deadline. However, his shoddy internet service was down -- a textbook Comcast Gambit.

Comcast Gambit by Sinchronize January 2, 2013

Comcast 

It began with the creation of the great cable providers. Many were given to the people of the US, but they were all of them deceived. In the land of Mordor, in the fires of Mount Doom, the dark Lord Sauron forged in secret a master cable provider, to control all others and into, he poured his cruelty, his malice, and and the worst fucking customer service imaginable, its name was Comcast. One by one respectable cable providers fell to the power of the Comcast. But there were some who resisted. A last alliance of Disgruntled customers and AT&T employees marched against the tyranny of Comcast and in the parking lot of Comcast's headquarters they fought for the right to choose a respectable cable service.

Comcast must be destroyed before its evil consumes the world.

Comcast by Satan's Almighty Penis July 27, 2014

Comcast 

A supposed digital service provider employing a business plan from the stone age set up to do nothing other than rape it's customers. Instead of allowing consumers to choose their own content packages, they force 90% extra bullshit fluff added to the 10% of services you actually want for ridiculously outlandish prices.

Running with a completely streamlined skeletoned system of equipment and hardware that's not kept up to date with modern firmware or standards whatsoever, nothing is ever working the way it's intended and if anything goes wrong expect to be ignored until it starts working again, which can take hours if not days at a time.

Line signal strength is a joke and overtaxed during peak hours so if you're neighbor is looking up porn while you wish to game online expect frequent lag and disconnections. Switching stations have no stand by systems or backups in place so if anything on the Comcast service network goes down you have no services, such as Television, Internet and Phone.

1. I just got booted from Xbox Live! Again! Fucking asshat next door must be jerking off!

2. Comcast is down, better call it in to complain... oh wait, Comcast also provides the phone, and since the service is down the phone isn't working.

3. Customer service has had me on hold for hours! They must not have any staff to handle anything because they expect no one to call when the service is down because it disables the customer's phone! Guess they don't realize we still have cellphones! Oh I just got through... nope they don't speak English and promptly hung up on me!

4. I've just pinged the local switching station's IP and I'm getting not half the rate for which I'm paying for their supposed "high-speed" internet... customer service tells me that I'm paying for "up-to" a certain speed. I'm thinking about only paying "up-to" a certain amount of my fucking bill! Fuck Comcast, I'm cancelling this shit!

Comcast by WCrispy July 23, 2009

Comcast 

A company that spends all its money on advertising and thus has none left over for customer service.

Also see monopoly

Hey, keep that frustrated customer on hold while we finish our latest 'Comcast Triple Play' ad.

Comcast by Degu June 29, 2008

Comcast 

A company that will steal your money, and live you homeless.

Comcast bill "Your remaining balance is 200$"
Customer " Wow this guys are crazy"

Comcast by Tight_pussy January 10, 2014

comcast 

Exclamation. Used to express disdain, frustration, and general malaise with emphasis.

1. Comcast! I ran over my mailbox.
2. That was the most comcasting awful movie I've ever seen.

comcast by Comcaster May 21, 2013