cockmerchant 

n.
1. A person who deals with the sale and purchase of battery hens and cockerels.
2. Someone who annoys you so much, you decide to spread random rumours about them illiciting sexual favours, including sucking cock
3. An insult slightly less offensive to the general public than cunt or fuckwit.

Person "My my! That Dave Ankers is a right cockmerchant"
Person 2 "Fuck off you pumptious cunt"

cockmerchant by How it is April 8, 2005

Cock Merchant 

1. A businessman who buys and sells severed phalluses for profit.

2. A term for when the desired result cannot be achieved without such excessive funds or rare/expensive objects that it seems impossible.

1. "The dwarf lives until we find a cock merchant."

2. "Oh well, I guess we better go find a cock merchant, then."

Cock Merchant by Smaug the Unassesably Wealthy April 2, 2022