asschap

the burning red ring that occurs around your asspucker after eating the worst of worst spicy foods, after you have already shit 4 or 5 times.

OMG... i got the worst asschap from that mexican food last night!

by John May 13, 2005

asschopsticks

when you buddy falls asleep in a recliner and you stand over him/her, spread your cheeks and attempt to pick up their face with your ass......It's hard as hell at first just like using chopstix.

Wow, Jay sure was pissed when Danny woke him up with the asschopsticks

by Mailmanjoe June 3, 2005

assclapper

Someone so stupid and fat that when they say something, the only sound is the echo of their ass cheeks resonating.

Jimmy is such an idiot -- what an assclapper!

by BelleMere July 24, 2010

Asschalk

A poorly conceived and baseless statement, as though offered by someone so unequipped that he had to write it on the bathroom stall with his own poop.

Paul needed a quick response to the panel's objections, so he wrote it in asschalk.

by Longhorned June 19, 2013

Assclapistan

A theoretical place that you take someone after you whoop there ass in Call of Duty.

Yo bro, I’m finna take these doods to Assclapistan.

by Fuckpoodles May 22, 2019

asscaptain

1. One who takes charge of and dominates asses like a despot.

2. The nemisis of the asspirate. Although their goals are similar they are loathe to share the ass-sea.

3. A man who loves ass-sex, but unlike the asspirate the ass captain in purely homosexual.

1. "I can't believe the way roberto lets mantooth captain his ass like that"

2. Asscaptain McClendon glared at his arch nemesis, the dred asspirate Roberts.
"I'll be damned if I share this eerr ass-ocean yee," exclaimed the insatiable Roberts.
"Then battle for the ass we must!" retorted McClendon.

3. "Man o man do I singularily love to tyranize a man's ass," said the asscaptain.

by Matuea October 8, 2006

asscaptain

1. One who deems it necessary to boss people around for the sake of shameless self-amusement.
2. One who seeks ass of any kind.
3. One who captains the ass.

Brad should stop telling me what to do. I'm sick of him being an asscaptain.

by Matt Heston September 2, 2008