afflectation 

noun.

turn of phrase or saying that betrays the speaker's idiocy and naivette.

-----

Alyssa: physical or emotional?

Holden: emotional penetration?

Alyssa: i fell in love hard with Caitlin Brie in high school.

Holden: physical?

Alyssa: we had sex.

Holden: yeah, but not real sex.

Alyssa: i move to have that Afflectation stricken from the record on account of it makes you sound like an asshole.

afflectation by Mavelicious April 8, 2009

affectation 

Something you do to make yourself seem cooler than you are. A lot of the time you don't really realize you're doing it, but all of the time you look a fool to everyone watching, assuming they've grown up more than you have.

Almost everyone has some affectations, but people with a lot of them stick out like sore thumbs and they don't even know it. See try-hard.

People in high school and college (especially) tend to have a lot of affectations because they are stupid. Or because they don't have the life experience to know that they are being stupid. Oftentimes both.

The college sophomore down the hall who wears a fedora every day (known, unknowingly, to his hallmates as "Fedora Guy"): "I like to think I'm an endearingly mysterious gentleman."

The kid with the fake accent/other contrived manner of speaking: "The way I casually throw in SAT words into my everyday speech makes the Normals uncomfortable, which is really cool because that means I'm impressing them and earning their respect."

Self-proclaimed nerd: "I really like showing people that I know a whole lot about really obscure things like math and the internet, because when I meet people who are 'in the know' like me and who actually deserve to be in my presence, they'll know what I'm talking about and they'll be really impressed, which is epic hacks!"

Dumb college kid at top-tier liberal arts school: "I'm so glad I've finally found a community where people like me can just bounce ideas off one another. I'm really excited about completely changing the way I think about everything by surrounding myself with such a diverse population of people who are exactly like me. Also I really really care about the actually important stuff, like politics and Darfur and voting and political correctness and intellectual conversations and getting drunk once in a while and being offended while remaining open-minded."

Generic affected individual: "What? No, that's not an affectation, that's just the way I've always done that. No, you've got it all wrong--I do it for a reason. Plus--heh heh--it just plain looks cool."

No dice, buddy.

affectation by futanari basashi January 23, 2009

Adopting Affectations

See "catchin feelings" More formal.

"I sayeth good sir, why art thou adopting affectations towardeth me?"

Adopting Affectations by Carter August Reich June 23, 2005

affectatious 

to wear something out of character in an effort to put up a facade.

Zach's white shirt was very affectatious with all the extra buttons and loops. He seems like a t-shirt and jeans kind of guy.

affectatious by quixar August 8, 2009

Ben Afflecktion 

The psychological term describing the phenomenon in which a patient with Multiple Personality Disorder exhibits completely identical characteristics for each varying persona; accompanied by a lack of talent, creativity, and stage presence.

"He always acts exactly the same, regardless of the situation and enviroment. I wonder if he suffers from Ben Afflecktion?"

Ben Afflecktion by nepo October 18, 2013

Three or More Affectations Rule 

This rule states that if someone has three or more affectations from the neck up (i.e. garish scarves, ostentatious earrings, extravagant nose rings, designer glasses, gaudy facial hair, etc.) is probably an attention-starved prick. It is strongly advised that attention-starved pricks guilty of violating this policy cease and desist at once.

Guy 1: Look at that guy and his ridiculous mustache, glasses, and scarf.

Guy 2: Yeah, he is definitely breaking the Three or More Affectations Rule.

Three or More Affectations Rule by So-Called Person February 15, 2014

affectation 

something a lame ass wannabe does or weres (i.e. wiggers are loaded with affectations, do i really have to be more specific)

affectation by Anonymous July 22, 2003