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A rich, brilliant, jewish woman from Telaviv that made the mistake of falling asleep sunbathing listening to Barbara Streisand's I AM A WOMAN IN LOVE after a night of too much cognac, coke, and hash. She woke up blacker than Grace Jones and Diana Ross's secret, test tube, baby. HEY, Einstein made mistakes too. That picture with his tongue out was after a night of too much Adderrall salts. In order to save her dark face, Stevie Spielberg cast her as an African American woman in The Color Purple and came up with some S.O.B. story about her being a single, mother junkie that U.S. housewives just ATE UP, because they loved the musical HAIR (How can people be so heartless? I don't know). This of course would lead to a big problem twenty years later with single pregnant mothers with drug issues who wanted a piece of that Whoopee/Courtney Love pie. AHHH romanticism at its best. Whoopee Cushion Goldenburger actually has an IQ of 250 and has three PHDs. Take that Edith Stern—Howard's mother—and the aunt of Joey Ramone. She is currently, privately working with contractors on carbon nanotubes.
Charity: I fell asleep sun bathing again listening to Barbara Streisand after too much Medical Marijuana and reading my physicist book.
Me: That is SOO Whoopee Cushion Goldenburger. You look so black. You should join Black Lives Matter and pull a Roseanne Barr and Grill.
via giphy
by HearMyName June 13, 2018
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