The Story of Mateus

Once upon an eternity ago, Mateus, who is a ninja, was at war with The Zombies. (They were much like the ones we know today, expect way deadlier.) Anyway, while engaged in combat, Mateus fell into an endless abyss that he designed for disposal of The Zombies. That abyss, which is impossible to escape, is now called the universe. From there he went on to create Earth, humanity, and everything else for unknown reasons. That is how he became God.

Mateus: "Ouch! Fuck, it's dark. Where am I? Oh shit, is this...? Damn it. Dang this is big - I wonder if there are still Zombies down here...this is gonna look bad on my autobiography 'The Story of Mateus'. (3 minutes later) I could really go for some sex right about now. I got it! Planet + animals + water = people! People = hookers! Hookers = sex! Oh, this is gonna be fun..."

The Story of Mateus by Ninja13 February 22, 2008

Cheeks 

An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)

"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."

Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility

I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.

sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".

A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.

Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022

Stink lines

As seen in illustrations or cartoons: Wavy, vertical lines rising above a person, place or thing. Denotes a foul odor.

"You didn't put enough stink lines on your picture of the teacher."

Stink lines by Athene Airheart March 14, 2004

schmegegge 

Yiddish slang word meaning bullshit, baloney, hogwash, nonsense, crock of shit or hot air.

I don't buy the schmegegge about Morty sleeping with Moira.
His version of the story was pure schmegegge.
The whole schmegegge was made up to get Liz a little bit of attention.

schmegegge by budsbabe February 1, 2008

eye bleach 

Looking or experiencing something nice after witnessing something horrid like a disgusting gif or a disturbing video. Typically used as eye bleach are nice images of whatever makes the disturbed person happy.

"Bleach my eyes! Why is that woman's face ripped off!?"
*Looks up images of puppies and kittens.*
"That's good eye bleach."

eye bleach by Rini2012 November 29, 2016