The Orthodox I-Theater 

When two people who desire "sexual contact" with each other but for insurmountable reasons cannot have said "sexual contact" (For example: if the object of your lust is married, betrothed, has herpes, or is a sibling).
A bed sheet/curtain is hung from the ceiling dividing a couch or bed in to two separate (but equal) halves both facing a television which is playing a pornographic movie, preferably DP, DVDA, Gang-bang porn, etc. Both participants Face-time each other from opposite ends of the couch while masturbating ferociously and perhaps crying just a little bit.

Synonyms- True Romance, Secret Lovers, Sad Clown Love, Conjugal-ish Visit.

Used in a sentence: "Hey babe, did you set up the Orthodox I-Theater yet?" "No, I forgot the sheet and the gang-bang porn." "I hate you so much! I am glad you have herpes and you are the worst brother ever!!!"

The Orthodox I-Theater by wizecracker August 27, 2016