Technoherpes
Also known as computer viruses, Technoherpes infects your computer and forces it to perform wildly varying activities without your knowledge...at first...then the hate-filled emails from everyone you know start to pour into your mailbox!
Technoherpes infection is normally caused by social manipulation, and most Technoherpes infestations are caused by a complete lack of forethought on the part of the computer operator clicking links without thinking AT ALL about what they're clicking on.
Thank our wonderful politicians for destroying the educational system, and the media for never making note that people are, for the most part, no longer capable of critical thinking, and will quickly click on a link to the most moronic things without thinking for even a millisecond, if they expect even the tinest bit of entertaining idiocy.
Easiest avoidance measures: Using a little-known and seldom used anatomical fat deposit known as "the brain." (No, not Pinky's friend...the other one...)
Note: "The Brain" should also be employed during the lead up, and while VOTING, although over the last century or so, there is no evidence that this is a common practise until AFTER the criminals have been voted in. The second a new election is called, there appears to be a genetic switch that instantly terminates all higher brain function until the day after the actual vote has occurred.
Technoherpes infection is normally caused by social manipulation, and most Technoherpes infestations are caused by a complete lack of forethought on the part of the computer operator clicking links without thinking AT ALL about what they're clicking on.
Thank our wonderful politicians for destroying the educational system, and the media for never making note that people are, for the most part, no longer capable of critical thinking, and will quickly click on a link to the most moronic things without thinking for even a millisecond, if they expect even the tinest bit of entertaining idiocy.
Easiest avoidance measures: Using a little-known and seldom used anatomical fat deposit known as "the brain." (No, not Pinky's friend...the other one...)
Note: "The Brain" should also be employed during the lead up, and while VOTING, although over the last century or so, there is no evidence that this is a common practise until AFTER the criminals have been voted in. The second a new election is called, there appears to be a genetic switch that instantly terminates all higher brain function until the day after the actual vote has occurred.
Technoherpes is normally spread via such channels as:
Links for discount shoes, dating sites, free credit report services, and more. If it was in the news recently, its a potential source of technoherpes infection!
Emails about how a Nigerian prince who needs YOU to "hold millions of dollars, in return for a percentage", US military Iraqi/BinLaden/Afghani/etc. cash hordes, dying widows of billionnaires who have noone else to leave their fortunes to, et cetera.
Of course, you can't forget about what started it all...PENIS ENLARGEMENT EMAILS!
Honestly, if those things worked, we'd all be able to take a whiz in Central Park by this point, right?
No...it wouldn't even matter what state or country you were in at the time! We've all seen THOUSANDS of those emails by this point, and at "a guaranteed minimum of three inches" per email...now you're talking in MILES!
Links for discount shoes, dating sites, free credit report services, and more. If it was in the news recently, its a potential source of technoherpes infection!
Emails about how a Nigerian prince who needs YOU to "hold millions of dollars, in return for a percentage", US military Iraqi/BinLaden/Afghani/etc. cash hordes, dying widows of billionnaires who have noone else to leave their fortunes to, et cetera.
Of course, you can't forget about what started it all...PENIS ENLARGEMENT EMAILS!
Honestly, if those things worked, we'd all be able to take a whiz in Central Park by this point, right?
No...it wouldn't even matter what state or country you were in at the time! We've all seen THOUSANDS of those emails by this point, and at "a guaranteed minimum of three inches" per email...now you're talking in MILES!
Technoherpes by ElectroPig von FökkenGrüüven November 14, 2011
