5 definition by ElectroPig von FökkenGrüüven

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Stephen Harper, the most damaging political figure in Canadian history.

See also: Emperor Harperius Mandatorius Minimus (self-promoted)

It has been scientifically proven that Stephen Harper is consuming oxygen and water that would be better utilized by more inteligent and beneficial creatures, such as cockroaches, syphillis spirochetes, and the herpes virus family.

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The first Prime Minister of Canadian history to have EVER been found in Contempt of Parliament, to which he responded "The Canadian people don't care about that..."

If the Canadian People REALLY don't care about this MASSIVE abuse of power and attack on the people of Canada, then we can kiss Canada as we know it goodbye on May 2nd, 2011...it will not survive another round of Stephen Harper.

Harper has stated in no uncertain terms that, if reelected (despite his not being eligible to run again due to his Contempt of Parliament), he will ramrod through an "Omnibus crime bill" within 100 days or his return to the Office Of The Emperor of Canada.

This "omnibus crime bill" will CREATE ENOUGH NEW CRIMINALS to fill his 9 BILLION dollar "new and refurbished prisons" to capacity, and then some, by making many current activities crimes with mandatory minimum prison terms that have already shown to be an expensive, useless and detrimental failure in the USA, while doing absolutely NOTHING to reduce crime rates.

If Harper is allowed to regain his throne, we WILL see a private prison system in Canada, even though we've already tried it and it failed miserably, and those private prisons have already been shut down.

There comes apoint where doing the wrong thing over and over again MUST eventually prove that it's still the wrong thing, no matter how many attempts are made to make the wrong thing "the thing to do."

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See: Stephen Harper

Self-appointed Emperor of Canada, keeper of the mystic scrolls of heroin-addicted logic, promoter of private prisons in Canada, destroyer of nations...STARTING WITH OUR OWN!
While telling the Canadian people that he does NOT support private prisons, Emperor Harperius Mandatorius Minimus is deliberately laying down all of the groundwork to make a Canadian prison-industrial complex a reality.

Building prisons without criminals to fill them, and then creating enough statutes to criminalize enough people to make those prisons profitable...despite the cost to Canada and it's people.

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Also known as computer viruses, Technoherpes infects your computer and forces it to perform wildly varying activities without your knowledge...at first...then the hate-filled emails from everyone you know start to pour into your mailbox!

Technoherpes infection is normally caused by social manipulation, and most Technoherpes infestations are caused by a complete lack of forethought on the part of the computer operator clicking links without thinking AT ALL about what they're clicking on.

Thank our wonderful politicians for destroying the educational system, and the media for never making note that people are, for the most part, no longer capable of critical thinking, and will quickly click on a link to the most moronic things without thinking for even a millisecond, if they expect even the tinest bit of entertaining idiocy.

Easiest avoidance measures: Using a little-known and seldom used anatomical fat deposit known as "the brain." (No, not Pinky's friend...the other one...)

Note: "The Brain" should also be employed during the lead up, and while VOTING, although over the last century or so, there is no evidence that this is a common practise until AFTER the criminals have been voted in. The second a new election is called, there appears to be a genetic switch that instantly terminates all higher brain function until the day after the actual vote has occurred.
Technoherpes is normally spread via such channels as:

Links for discount shoes, dating sites, free credit report services, and more. If it was in the news recently, its a potential source of technoherpes infection!

Emails about how a Nigerian prince who needs YOU to "hold millions of dollars, in return for a percentage", US military Iraqi/BinLaden/Afghani/etc. cash hordes, dying widows of billionnaires who have noone else to leave their fortunes to, et cetera.

Of course, you can't forget about what started it all...PENIS ENLARGEMENT EMAILS!

Honestly, if those things worked, we'd all be able to take a whiz in Central Park by this point, right?

No...it wouldn't even matter what state or country you were in at the time! We've all seen THOUSANDS of those emails by this point, and at "a guaranteed minimum of three inches" per email...now you're talking in MILES!

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To remove a tiny fragment of a statutory problem, while maintaining the majority of the statute(s), and continuing the statute's use as a revenue generator for governments, police, prison guard unions, lawyers, the court system, and "potentially competing industries."

The harassment would still exist. Excuses like when a cop says "I thought I smelled something" would still be "uncontestable evidence usable in court." You'd still have your herb "civilly forfeited." You'll still get "ticketed." You'll still pay fines. "I thought I smelled..." would still entitle "authority figures" to car searches, home raids, body cavity searches, and everything else it currently does. You won't have a "criminal" record...but you'll still have an "offense record." And that "no longer a criminal" record will still be used against you, at every opportunity.
If we were to decriminalize cannabis today, the only thing that would change is that you wouldn't "immediately" be arrested or "immediately" get a "criminal" record. Everything else would remain basically the same.

Decriminalization is little more than a scaled-down version of legalize, used by those who don't understand that they really mean to say "Repeal".

This is because it still doesn't end the problem of cannabis prohibition, but allows it to continue almost completely unchanged while giving the public the mistaken impression that anything of actual substance has been changed.

eg: If you really want to see cannabis prohibition put to an end in your lifetime, we need to REPEAL the statutes that created, expanded, and maintained it over the last century. Then it'll be over.

We've failed to do "what we say we want" for over 50 years.

It's time we just got it done, so we can move on to the next global issue which desperately needs our attention. (Hint: There are at least one or two more of those we can easily tackle next; Banking fraud would be a good "next to fix" item!)

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e.g: "Legalize weed, man!"

To "legalize" means to write a statute which thereby exports a given object, or substance (expanded in recent years to also include concepts, thoughts or actions) from the tangible, real, physical universe--where it can actually be proven to exist--and imports this object or substance into the imaginary realm of statutory control, enforcement and penalty, which only exists inside a courtroom environment, or the prisons they draw their revenue from.

This can be used "to make something illegal", or to make something "legal."

This can not, however, be used to make something "free", which many people believe means the same thing as legal.

It doesn't.

To be "legal" requires statutes which specifically limit and restrain your freedoms to those which are preordained by the statute.
People have been begging to "legalize cannabis" since the 60's. They still haven't clued into the fact that it was "legalized" a century ago, so as they "beg for more of the same" they actually get the "more of the same" they were begging for.

The reason we haven't restored our freedoms, is because we keep begging to "legalize" what is "already legalized", never understanding that in order to be free, we must repeal the statutes which "legalized" those actions, concepts or items, and made them "illegal."

You can NOT restore your freedoms by adding more restrictions onto the pile of statutes which originally restricted your freedoms.

Eventually, this will become obvious to all...although, for the last century, we have somehow managed to remain completely and wilfully ignorant of this fact.
by ElectroPig von FökkenGrüüven December 07, 2013

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