Statusbating 

The act of re-reading a status update feeling the need comment multiple times or show all your friends the update/comment at the most inopportune time possible to garner attention. This includes self-liking the status and/or any of your own comments.

Statusbating another person (sometimes referred to as maserbating. "Mutual Statusbating") results in multiple comments to the same update in a short interval.

Friend A:"Check out my buddies update. Tell me what you think"

update: Too lazy for a Note so here's the summary - Double Dare is great, Lucas is a terrible movie, commenting on snow is beyond lame, super soakers were a paradigm shift & Goldberg was the best pro wrestler ever.

Friend B: "I think you need to stop statusbating in public. It's just sad."

Statusbating by cege7480 February 23, 2011

Saturbating 

The act of spending an exorbent amount of time looking at ones own personal accomplishments statistics.

Often a co-worker who is always checking out their own sales numbers or sales stats.

Or the friend who wants to see their all the stats at the end of your favorite multi-player video game(i.e. Halo, Gears of War, Rock Band, etc.).

Joe: Alright lets go on to the next round of the game...

Frank: Wait dude I want to see how many head shots I got that round.... Woa I killed Bill 18 times...Jim you suck....

Joe: Alright Frank quit saturbating lets go...

Saturbating by munciemike May 23, 2009