A very basic female, typically of European or North American residence, who is really only concerned with fluffy animals (e.g. puppies, kittens, etc.) and how many dumb emoticons they can fit into their next text message. Their only salient concern outside of the initial two interests mentioned would be Starbucks. Witnesses report these strange creatures proposing to, hugging, and kissing Starbucks baristas as a thanks for a coffee (something that can be made quickly at home).
A Starbucks slurper will also most likely date you no matter how physically unattractive you are or grotesque your personality is as long as you own some type of fluffy animal as a pet.
They have absolutely zero tolerance for people who eat meat as well.
A Starbucks slurper will also most likely date you no matter how physically unattractive you are or grotesque your personality is as long as you own some type of fluffy animal as a pet.
They have absolutely zero tolerance for people who eat meat as well.
Normal Girl: Did you hear about the shooting downtown?
Starbacks Slurper: Who cares about all the dead people!? Two dogs died, they were so cute! *obnoxiously sips on pumpkin spice latte*
Normal Girl: You are the worst Starbucks Slurper I've ever met.
Starbucks Slurper: I'm a vegan, so that means I'm 30 IQ points smarter-er than you. I don't care what you think! Hmph!
Starbacks Slurper: Who cares about all the dead people!? Two dogs died, they were so cute! *obnoxiously sips on pumpkin spice latte*
Normal Girl: You are the worst Starbucks Slurper I've ever met.
Starbucks Slurper: I'm a vegan, so that means I'm 30 IQ points smarter-er than you. I don't care what you think! Hmph!
by Liam the Clever September 25, 2017