Spintistics

The use of statistics in the effort to sway opinion. Commonly used by politicians and economists with an agenda, seeking to use numbers, etc. in the attempt to put their own spin on a situation.

The other day, Senator Richardson was on the news trying to defend his position on relaxing tobacco taxes. Despite the growing number of deaths each year due to smoking, he cited numerous spintistics to suggest it is not as bad as what has been reported.

Spintistics by mcmarcus June 12, 2008

shitistics 

calculating the mass of someones life time shit production based on their diet and health

Well... I know a man his age (76) should have produced about 24,320lbs (11,030 kg) of shit in his lifetime so far. If we convert those 76 years into days we have 27759 days. Now it is normal and healthy to have a bowel movement anywhere between three times a week to three times a day, but my dad always ate dinner at the same time and used the bathroom approximately once a day. Therefore we can conclude that he has shat approximately 27759 times in his lifetime, maybe a little less or a little more. If we divide those 24,320lbs he has dropped in his lifetime with the days he has lived, we should get 0,87lbs which is 0,39kg and therefore we can take a guess and say that his last shit weighted about 0,87 pounds or 0,39kg. Now the average weight of a human log is around 1/4 of a pound to 1 pound (or 0,11kg to 0,45kg). With this information we can tell that the turd was a little on the skinny side but he is healthy and probably doing well. This is shitistics.

shitistics by wanwanwan September 21, 2022

spintastic 

This is a term mostly used by those involved with Wheel of Fortune. It means fantastic, but the "fan" is changed to "spin", referencing the wheel in the popular game show. Pat Sajak, the host, has said this phrase a few times, which is how it stuck with the audience.

You're going to college? Well that's spintastic!

spintastic by KannaACNH October 23, 2022

Mormon/LDS stitistics 

everyone seems to be getting them wrong so here the record straight. these are the statictics as of apiral 2011

Worldwide Church Statistics

Membership 14,131,467

Missions 340

Missionaries 52,483

Missionary Training Centers 15

Temples (current 2011 number) 134

Congregations 28,660

Universities and Colleges 4

Seminary Students Enrollment 369,373

Institute Students Enrollment 348,111

Family History Centers 4,648

Countries with Family History Centers 127

Countries Receiving Humanitarian Aid Since 1985 178

Value of Humanitarian Assistance Since 1985 $1.3 Billions

Welfare Service Missionaries
(Including Humanitarian Service Missionaries) 8,583

Languages Church Materials Available 166

LDS Worldwide Statistics (Selected Countries):

Country Percent LDS Country Number of LDS

Tonga 46.0% USA 5,503,192

Samoa 36.0% Mexico 980,053

American Samoa 24.1% Brazil 897,091

Niue 12.0% Chile 534,754

Kiribati 10.7% Philippines 537,014

Tahiti 7.8% Peru 402,230

Cook Islands 8.3% Argentina 339,929

Marshall Islands 7.0% United Kingdom 180,095

Chile 3.3% Guatemala 196,777

Palau 2.1% Canada 166,442

USA 1.9%

Uruguay 2.5%

New Zealand 2.35%

Guatemala 1.34%

Honduras 1.6%

Bolivia 1.6%

Ecuador 1.2%

Peru 1.4%

Belize 1.0%

so yeah hope this clears some of the air that most LDS do not live in Utah.

Mormon/LDS stitistics

Mormon/LDS stitistics by rinnua July 5, 2011

shitistics 

The mathematical process by which one or a group measures the quality and size of their shits. A way to compare shits between competing friends/enemies. There is an average shit for humanity, as taken by Jesus Christ unto St. Peter's face (the Holy Shit), and shits greater than or less than the Holy Shit is measured by standard deviation in terms of chippermonkeys. Shitistics apply to size, girth, smell, denisty, color, and toilet clogging ability. Shitistics are measured by a neutral arbiter in a "who took the biggest shit" dispute.

Jason: Shit dude, I took a huge shit this morning.

Matt: What are the shitistics you shithead?

Jason: Size: 1.2 chippermonkeys, Girth: 3.8 chippermonkeys, Smell: 2.8 chippermonkeys, Density: -1.9 chippermonkeys, Color: 0.2 chippermonkeys, Toilet Clogging: 10.0 chippermonkeys.

Matt: I guess thats a decent shit.

Jason: Shit, I had to buy new socks.

Matt: Tell Craig to come measure the shitistics on the deuce I just dropped.

shitistics by Cream Puff69 October 13, 2012

spatistics 

1. n. the spamming or disease of spamming of statistics, or the seemingly excessive knowledge of random facts/conversation tidbits

2. v. a criminal sex act of sneaking a piece of raw spam in a woman's belly button (if overweight), ear, or vagina while she is sleeping

3. n. an internet transmitted disease, usually caused by watching too many shitty documentaries

DudeBro 1: Dude, Jim's got a bad case of the spatistics.

DudeBro 2: Bro, I know right, Shelly was pissed.

DudeBro 1: Dude, wtf, Bro?

spatistics by psuedolicious December 18, 2013