One day I was sitting at a stop light and all of a sudden I felt like I was going to shit myself. Almost simultaneously I felt I had to sneeze. Like an idiot, I pinched my nose and held my sneeze causing me to shit myself so hard that it shot up my back almost to my neck. Worst case of the sneezarheas that I've ever had!

phone: why don’t you go to sleep tommy it’s 2 in the morning?
tommy:why don’t you die you dumbazz