Smilorexia 

An obsessive disorder which involves an irrational desire for a 'perfect smile'. The smilorexic is difficult to please with conservative cosmetic dental procedures and commonly is a victim of overly aggressive dentists called the 'Veneer Nazis'.

Smilorexia often involves compulsive tooth whitening, flirting with the dentist for discounted cosmetic treatment and extreme mood swings if the treatment does not result in a super-fake artificial smile.

"The smile junky, no longer able to afford the expensive trips to the clinician, shudders in the corner of her apartment. Crumpled boxes of Crest Whitening strips in the corner. She boils the last contents of rembrandt whitening toothpaste in a spoon..."

(see New York Times - Smilorexia)

Smilorexia by VeneerNazi September 1, 2010

Shitorexia 

Shitorexia is a poop disorder characterized by a refusal to accept pooping as a normal daily cycle. Shitorexics often feel strong urges to poop, but deny themselves all but the very smallest of poops. Shitorexics create a distorted negative image of their poops and foster regimes in connection with their poops. They are often incapable of pooping when placed in non-regime environments.

Shitorexia occurs in the ratio of one male per billion females.

Jane and John were at a concert. Suddenly they had to go home early. Shitorexia had struck again.

Shitorexia by PopeMichael January 15, 2011