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He is a warlord, a demon, a robot, and a dragon. He is the fierce ruler of the planet Earth.

Husband to Hess-Ursula Malden, Queen of Marthox 7.
Father to Buxbee Malden the possibly illegitimate child of Hess and Saugus.

Kidnapped from a public swimming pool early on in his life, he was given super powers by aliens and they brainwashed him to take over the world.

Also See:

"The Ballad of Saugus Malden" - The Epic poem written by disciples of the Malden Clan etching the heroic and historic tale of his virtues and vices in the great continuum of time. It is said that upon hearing the chorus of the ballad women are instantaneously impregnated with the child of Saugus and men feel the deep desire to serve in his ever reaching army.

Favorite words include: Churl, nudie, taint, Wendy's.

Also also see:

"The Chronicles of Hess-Ursula" - A short work based on Hess' hell bent mission to remove the word "please" from the past, present, and future.

HAIL SAUGUS! HAIL SAUGUS! King of the Underworld! King of all that is! King of Wendy's! HAIL SAUGUS!

Dude, that Saugus Malden guy is mean.

Dude, that Saugus Malden guy is wicked awesome.

Dude, THATS SAUGUS MALDEN!
by Buxbee May 05, 2008
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Jan 18 Word of the Day
1. Blue Monday is the most depressing day of the year, calculated by Dr. Cliff Arnall, a researcher at the University of Cardiff's Center for Lifelong Learning.
Factors used to calculate the date included weather conditions, debt level, time since Christmas, time since failing our New Year's resolutions, low motivation and feeling the need to take action.

In 2005 the date was calculated as January 24th, in 2006 it was January 23rd, and in 2007 it was January 22nd.

2. A song by the hard rock band Orgy from their album Candy Ass.
1. Guy: "Aw man, I feel like absolute shit today."
Friend: "Yeah, same here. I hate Blue Monday."

2. "I wish I could sing Blue Monday to my ex-girlfriend, she's such a bitch."
by L_Roku August 31, 2007
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