Sachettism 

A state of abomination in which you become completely and utterly disgusted with yourself to the point that only death will bring you peace. Sachettism can be brought on by listening to Republicans speak, watching the SciFi Channel, being in the vicinity of a church, and eating red Jell-O. Early symptoms of contracting the disease are uncontrollable sweating, excessive internet use, wearing only polo shirts to the beach, filling your DVR to it's maximum capacity, and constantly bitching about nothing. Although there are no known cures for the disease many patients diagnosed live a somewhat normal life and can usually go undiagnosed for years. Some famous celebrities with the disease include Ricki Lake, John Goodman, Rosie O’Donnell, Horatio Sanz, Artie Lange and Mama Cass.

The night after the doctor diagnosed his first case of Sachettism, he was found lifeless, face down in a pile of red sox maki.

Sachettism by Mysterious Anomoly Bill September 19, 2009