Redneck Neighbors
A message from a higher power that you're on the shitlist. Redneck neighbors are like a plague: widespread and difficult to get rid of. Once the neighborhood is infected, they import their friends and relatives as well. They are renters, never homeowners. They are either morbidly obese or stick figure thin - there is no in between. They either have few teeth or a set of greenish brown ones. Redneck neighbors drive 25+ year old vehicles that are cars and trucks in the technical sense, most held together with coat hanger wire and bondo and have no mufflers. They work on these things daily. They keep herds of large, thin mangy dogs which are often confused with their kids. They sit on the porch talking loudly and drinking some sort of distiller liquid and cheap ass beer 24/7. They keep the tobacco industry in business. They put out mismatched plastic urns filled with random plastic flowers that blow all over neighboring yards. They are always seen at neighborhood yard sales. The police/sheriff visits at least twice a week and child service workers lurk monthly. it takes a landlord months to get them out of the property, at which time they must torch it or demo it because of uninhabitable condition. The evicted rednecks proceed to move in next door with their relatives so it's really a vicious circle. They make a great pilot for a TV reality show.
Redneck Neighbors by KImCobain March 12, 2015
