A condition wherein the patient's speech comes from their rectum, rather than their larynx. Because patients suffering from this condition maintain no connection between their Broca's Area and their speech organ, the resulting language is often illogical. The condition can be acute or chronic (as in certain uncles at Thanksgiving). There is no effective treatment at this time -- the recommended response is isolation of the patient until the condition subsides. This condition is highly contagious and spreads rapidly through contact via social media.
The patient was referred to us after participating in their HOA page on social media. They began making irrational statements, leading to suspicion of acute Procto-Milontesis. Recommend isolating the patient for 24 hours to see if they improve.
by Patrol Jeff May 11, 2023