PnoMoenia
A seasonal disease typically contracted by the resident sick fuck in the office with the onset of a couple centimeters of snow. May also occur during bouts of fall windstorms if branches/twigs fall on one’s driveway, during periods of high precipitation, or during any bog fire.
Victims of pnoMoenia are usually unable to leave one’s house from the onset of symptoms through the remainder of the work week. This affliction may result in periods of high Netflix consumption and is often accompanied by an itchy anus due to prolonged sitting with infrequent hygiene breaks. Increases in self-flagellation occur in most but not all cases.
Middle aged men with pnoMoenia can exhibit behaviours of “no shame”, and are subject to hallucinations of distinct micro weather patterns surrounding their principle residence.
Victims of pnoMoenia are usually unable to leave one’s house from the onset of symptoms through the remainder of the work week. This affliction may result in periods of high Netflix consumption and is often accompanied by an itchy anus due to prolonged sitting with infrequent hygiene breaks. Increases in self-flagellation occur in most but not all cases.
Middle aged men with pnoMoenia can exhibit behaviours of “no shame”, and are subject to hallucinations of distinct micro weather patterns surrounding their principle residence.
Fuck your polar vortex, I have pnoMoenia!
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