Paturdity Leave 

The legal entitlement for men in the work place to take extended time off during work hours to extricate their bowels i.e. drop the kids off at the pool.

Paturdity comes from a need for equality for men. Woman have maternity leave from work, men should be allowed time off for their own deliveries.

Hey Roy! Where have you been for the last hour? On paturdity leave?

Paturdity Leave by gus_dodge March 9, 2005

peturnity leave 

Taking paid time off from work to care for a newly adopted animal companion. This can also apply to pets that have babies.

Worker 1: "I haven't seen Sarah in a few days, where the hell is she?"

Worker 2: "You didn't hear? She adopted a new cat so she's on peturnity leave."

peturnity leave by Tac306 October 30, 2013