Nutshake

When a male squats over a cup of water and places his testicles inside. He then proceeds to masturbate whilst blowing bubbles into the water through a straw.

Ben was feeling a bit horny but his partner was at work, he decided to satisfy himself with a nutshake.

by Big_s_wearing_a_dress November 22, 2013

Nutsake

(verb) to hurl, throw, or slam an object into a wall, the ground or another solid body. Usually an outburst of rage.

Gavin nutsaked his little sister against a wall when she stole the TV remote.

by The ganjaman August 6, 2011

Nutsakeum Theory

The pseudoscientific belief that every catastrophic fuck-up in a man’s life can be traced back to one single, glorious nut he should’ve never busted.
A retroactive coping mechanism where dudes convince themselves that if they’d just rubbed one out before that one pivotal moment…be it a job interview, a wedding proposal, or texting “wyd” at 2 a.m.…the entire timeline would’ve stayed on the rails. The theory claims post nut clarity is so powerful it warps reality like a cum shot to the space time continuum.

Example:
“Bro, I proposed to my side chick instead of my girlfriend because I skipped my morning jerk. Classic Nutsakeum Theory…should’ve drained the lizard before popping the question.”
Alternate usage:
“According to Nutsakeum Theory, the Titanic sank because the captain hadn’t busted a fat one since Liverpool. Iceberg? More like blue balls.”

by MinotDUIDrifter October 30, 2025