Nerdsturbate 

1) Doing nerdy/brainy activities, such as calculus or Newtonian mechanics, just for fun.
2) Describing sexual activities using scientific jargon as metaphors.

Last night I dreamt of your definite integrals going all over my infinitesimals... I nerdsturbated as soon as I woke up.

"But what if the black hole is spinning at relativistic angular velocities? How would spacetime be defined on the edge of..."
"Dude, stop nerdsturbating! I'm trying to watch porno here."

Nerdsturbate by Prof Peejay January 10, 2014

Nermasturbate

When masturbation occurs while using a foam Nerf product. For example, a Nerf dart, or a Nerf sword. Hence, nermasturbate and/or nermasturbation.

Friend: Dude, is your penis bleeding?
Dude: Nah, bro. I just nermasturbated and got a nerf dart tag stuck in my urethra.
Friend: Whoa, cool!
Dude: Yeah, and the nerfoop net is suck in my anus.
Friend: Whoa, bogus...

Nermasturbate by Uptown Dogg September 25, 2010