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Mittens'd 

When you're going in to give a "fist bump" to someone and instead of bumping their fist, you completely cover their fist with your open hand and say "Mittens!" in a very high pitched voice.
Tyler and Reed walked up to a couple of cute chicks at the mall. One of the girls makes a smartass comment to Reed, and Tyler says "hell yeah, give me a pound." When the girl puts out her fist, Tyler covers her fist with his open hand and cries out "MITTENS" in a shrill little voice. The cute chick has been "Mittens'd"
Mittens'd by Shadoe Swim March 8, 2010
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Mittens & Darling 

In a world, where good cop meets nice cop... you have, Officers Mittens & Darling. Their sole motivation for entering law enforcement came from the same cause. Taking down the person responsible for killing their ethnic families. Baron von Grant. Grant, a Nazi sympathizer, is hellbent on seeing through a plan he calls "the Paco-ronus". A badly punned usage of the Harry Potter spell Patronus; where he intends to build a wall along the border. Davis dipping all "undesirables" in the process... Luckily for humanity, Officer Mittens & Darling are both white, and take him out for ice cream and tickles instead.
If it weren't for the adorable Mittens & Darling, I'd probably have a hot Takis up my dickhole right about now.

Dangerous Mittens 

Cat: *hiss*
Person: oh damn don't use your dangerous mittens on me!
Dangerous Mittens by StacyKatzzz January 25, 2021

Detective Mittens 

Good work Detective Mittens... you scary fucking cat!
Detective Mittens by writergirljds December 7, 2011

Dumfries mittens 

When you let your dog jizz on your fingers and peel it off the next morning.
Jodie, can you help me peel off my Dumfries Mittens?

Dick Mittens 

When a male has used a urinal and failed to wash their hands before exiting the bathroom.
I didnt want to shake his hand, he just came out of the toilet. He's likely to have dick mittens
Dick Mittens by flashh July 10, 2010

Dick Mittens 

The condition of one's hands when one neglects to wash them after urinating.
I won't let him touch my copy of New England with dick mittens.
Dick Mittens by Frayed_Moe November 9, 2003