Skip to main content

Mistakurbating 

v When you mistakenly catch someone masturbating. Often caused by poor choice of place and timing, such as before dinner, at the movies, at school, at work, in the shower when your roommate is waiting and irritated, in a resturant, in a public restroom, in the back seat of a van on a long road-trip, in a park, on or near a playground, during a party, in the waiting room of a clinic for the blind, in an elementary school principal's office, when you sleep in a bunkbed, in a pool, in river with hungry fish, when you come home to a missing plunger and/or bananas, when you forget to close the browser on the family computer, or making the decision at 5:58 when your mom usually gets home at 6:01 (see after school special).
"Man, I am either a master of mistakurbating or our daughter has the worst choice of timing. Or she still hasn't figured it out. Have you seen the sausages?"

True Story,

Our hero goes to a job interview at a big box store in a tuxedo.

The Manager holding back a bellowing laugh, "So, you can tell me the truth. Why did you get fired from your last job?"

The man replies, "I was caught masturbating on my break."

"What?!"

"Ya, I know. That's my free time and I am allowed to do whatever I want on my own time!"

And with that the manager could not resist passing him on to the next department for hiring. True story, no joke.
Mistakurbating by cheese_leaves February 10, 2012
Urban Dictionary Merch
Your favorite words on things you can wear, drink from, read, or give to a friend.
The Urban Dictionary Store sells gifts you’ll have to explain.

Prices in USD. Free US shipping. International shipping and regional book fees are shown before payment.

mastaurbating 

Mas-staur-bating
Poorly typed blank card ( from Cards Against Humanity) that was ment to say 'masterbating'
It's masterbating, not mastaurbating!
-UNKNOWN 2016
mastaurbating by CyrusTheGreatFurry December 27, 2016
Related Words
More from Urban Dictionary
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026
Literally "dirty" pronounced with a West Indian accent. Can also have a positive connotation, for example Sean Paul's album title "Dutty Rock".
"The girl is pretty but she corrupt and dutty!"

or, in a positive usage:

"Booya! That freestyle was dutty!"
Dutty by J Hall April 3, 2003
Word of the Day on October 1, 2026
korean word for madam, older woman
Ajumma wait a moment
Ajumma by aintnotinbutnice July 5, 2009
Word of the Day on September 30, 2026

Slop Grenade

When someone uses AI to generate a large document, slide deck, or piece of code/software and tosses it over the fence for you to deal with.
Chad: Hey Brent I sent you the new backend API change to review, it’s only 100 files changed.

Brent: he just tossed me a slop grenade
Slop Grenade by Joe Squid September 28, 2026
Word of the Day on September 29, 2026
Load more