Masturbash 

Adj. (mass-terr-bash)
The act of self pleasuring aggressively, while thinking about a person , place or thing you immensely dislike. Usually occurring from frustration or substance abuse.

"God I really can't stand my ex, she's an absolute mess. Definitely calls for a masturbash."

Masturbash by Lachlan and Swanny April 26, 2015

Masturbaker's dozen 

The pinnacle of all dedicated feckless cum-shedders whereby the participant aims to ejaculate more than 13 times in a 24 hour period. 13 loads in generally accepted by industry insiders as being the level that separates the men from the boys.

'I did it , I did the masturbaker's dozen! Admittedly the last six were with a floppy and the jizz was purely gaseous, but by golly I finally did it. Now it's off to the doctor for me to get some ointment for the blisters and tennis elbow..'

Masturbaker's dozen by Anonymous submissions December 10, 2016

masturbasement 

secluded, underground space in your home where you can finally jerk off in peace

"After my wife goes to sleep and I kick all of my guy friends out of my downstairs mancave, I get out my pornos and turn it into my very own private masturbasement."

masturbasement by Eric Rohmer October 10, 2014

Masterbassion 

(n.);masterbassing-(v.) pronounced: Mast-er-bash-un
The stimulation of ones own bass guitar, especially slapping, which results in immediate pleasure and self-gratification. Depending on the length and intensity of masterbassion, pain and/or blisters may develop.

Idle hands lead to masterbassion.

Masterbassion by Glason j Laausser March 26, 2010

masturbaginity 

The state of being pure, unsullied, or untouched by your own hands, esp. to orgasm; sexual self-gratification.

I'm almost ashamed to say Nikki Cox took my masturbaginity.

masturbaginity by TB82 January 16, 2009

Masterbathon 

a masterbathon is a day that you stay home from school "sick" so you can beat off so many times that you are dry and chaffed and can't walk so the next day you have to stay home and do it all over again

Mike: "Damn jimmy has been out of school all week"
Steve: "I konw he must be having a masterbathon"

Masterbathon by LifeguardSteve April 27, 2004

masturbathon 

When you try to jerk off but are unable to reach orgasam for whatever reason, causeing you to jerk off for what seems to be an eternity yet is only 26.2 minutes

Dude, I went for a quick wank and that shit turned out to be a masterbathon.

masturbathon by Ali T May 14, 2003