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Laardvark 

An obese Aardvark.
When the BMI of an Aardvark is equal to or greater than 30, the animal is referred to as a "Laardvark".
Causality is believed to be a) genetic or b) environmental or c) both.

The genetic component is believed to affect the "off" switch in the animals ant-vacuum system, leaving the suction running beyond the full point, so to speak.
The environmental component may be due to our society of modern conveniences. The vast array and easy availability of candied ants are thought to be at fault.
The mix of genetic disposition and a sweet tooth, or Aardvarks with gluttonous tendencies have been observed, but not documented.
The Aardvark stormed the specialty food store and bullied it's way to the candied ant section. It fed until all ants, chocolate and mint, orange jellied and others were devoured, waddling away from the store as a Laardvark.
Laardvark by Sinned33 February 18, 2010
Urban Dictionary Merch

laardvark 

n. - a human of diminutive yet rotund stature; usu. with limbs much smaller than the ratio their size would imply as natural; likeness seen best when they are leaning over everyone's plate at dinner with their stubby arms propped on the table

pronunciation: lard'-vark
Look at all those laardvarks leaving that diabetes info class.

Get your own, laardvark!
laardvark by sadjitarius March 23, 2008

Laardvark 

A fucking lazy creature. Something that would lie in its own poop if it didn't smell
Stop being a laardvark and get off the couch.
Laardvark by MRiT October 16, 2013

Aardvark Tits 

Tits that resemble an aardvarks snout

Long droopy boobs like an ant eater nose

Disturbed Aardvark 

The action of Disturbed Aardvark consists of a man ejaculating in their partners Asshole while the partner is upside down so that a creampie is built up, once the Semen is in place the man must then snort the creampie and then follow up with sneezing the juices on the face of their partner.
Damn that chick just took one hell of a Disturbed Aardvark.

aardvark cum

there aint nothing colder than aardvark cum!
aardvark cum by minecraft129 May 27, 2012

Aardvark Cum

The deadliest, coldest, semen produced by a warm blooded mammal ever. According to Amir Blumenfeld from popular Youtube channel CollegeHumor, who popularized the term, "Aardvark cum will freeze yo ass, Aardvark cum is frigid gas" Which let's you know that you don't want to fuck around with Aardvarks.
"I need a jacket! It's like Aardvark cum up in this bitch"
Aardvark Cum by Tswizzie September 12, 2013
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