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La Crosse, Wisconsin 

La Crosse is a city in Wisconsin. La Crosse has only 55,000 people in it. It is are a major drinking city. La Crosse has the most bars on one street in the whole nation (thats crazy considering we only have 55,000 people), two huge breweries that supply alot of alcohol to the midwest and the rest of the nation, and the worlds largest six pack. Alcohol prices are really low, and our bars always have cheap drinks and really good specials. The Octoberfest in La Crosse is the second biggest in the world, second only to Berlin, Germany. If someone from Wisconsin tries to enter a drinking contest down south, most places wont even let you join. Wisconsin is the drunkest state in America, and La Crosse is the drunkest city in Wisconsin. There are three colleges: UWL, Virterbo, and WWTC.
If he's from La Crosse, Wisconsin he is a really good drinker.

La Crosse, Wisconsin is a good place to party.
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The La Crosse Wisconsin Black Hole 

There is rumored to be a black hole in La Crosse, Wisconsin, in which it sucks in all of the dads in the city, therefore leaving everybody with no father figure. (Donut Operator reference)
Hey did you hear about The La Crosse Wisconsin Black Hole?
No what's that?
It's a black hole in La Crosse, Wisconsin that sucks in all of the dads that live there leaving everyone without a father figure.
Oh so that's why I don't have a dad...
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