Kyle DMC

A member of the Columbus based Desperate Measures Crew. Born in 1986, the Columbus native who plays in hardcore/metal bands and books shows has received his legendary shitbag status from his well known "cock" and "p.o.s." tattoos, single handedly hospitalizing hundreds of frat dudes, robbing armed robbers, setting people on fire, impregnating the turds of scene girls worldwide, out-eating all men who challenge him, banging girls in club bathrooms, and his unmatched rage. There is no man alive that has kept it this real since chuck norris. From the years of touring with bands to the periods of heavy drug usage to the hookers in Tijuana and Vegas and his willingness to do ANYTHING for money, at 21 years old has a superb reputation on this planet earth.

"Dude... Ben.... Kyle DMC chugged half a bottle malt vinegar for 20 euros today. Not even american dollars.... Euros! He puked everywhere! He's a moron! Dude i even heard that this one time he shit himself after eating 13 tacos when he was out with Ringworm. I think if every major city had a "Kyle DMC" This world would be ruined."

Kyle DMC by Tall Alex April 16, 2008