Kitnapper 

Someone, usually an ex, who abducts your pet kitten, and sells it on a rehoming site before you get home

"She made it look like the kitten had escaped from the window, but actually she had got a kitnapper to stage it .."
"She did what?!! Fucking hell what a heartless kitnapping cowbag!!".

Kitnapper by Dev.dealio May 13, 2022

Cocktail Kidnapped 

When you take a walk down the street, pass a friendly neighbor's house, get invited to have a beverage with them, you accept and 90 minutes later, you realize nothing got done but you have a smile on your face.

Sorry I'm late, I went for a walk and got Cocktail Kidnapped at Gary and Viv's along the way.

Cocktail Kidnapped by Smabuda July 29, 2014

help, i've been kidnapped 

What you say when you've been kidnapped, and it totally ruined your day. Like so bad you can't even be scared, and somehow you reach a telephone ti say this phrase.

Cmon man you just had to come and ruin my day. Guess I'll just call 911. Hello? Yes? Yes, help, i've been kidnapped.

help, i've been kidnapped by TheMustardMan47 March 28, 2019

kidnapper van 

A beat-up white van, usually a Ford Econoline, and often with no side-rear windows.

I always worry about what innocent people could be tied up in the back of all the kidnapper vans I see on the highways.

kidnapper van by mclmal24 March 26, 2010

kidnapper

Someone who steal people and keeps them in their basement for future use. Generally ugly and lacking swag and can't get their own girls so they have to steal them.

girl 1: I'm afraid ryan might be the stalker who is going to kidnap me

girl 2: No way, he is too handsome, sexy, and has too much swag to be a kidnapper

kidnapper by hppn8 December 26, 2011

Kidnapper

A person that makes kids take naps

Parent: My kid isn't taking their naps
Person: You need to hire a kidnapper

Kidnapper by Krabban6969 August 23, 2020

Kidnapper's Deluxe 

N. A vechile that is able to hold three or more bodies in it's trunk in the event of committing a kidnapping or needing to take hostages. A trunk that would hold any less would be considered a Kidnapper's Double or Single.

Tom: Check out all the space in the trunk of my new car.
Joe: Dude, for a small car thats at least a Kidnapper's Double.
Tom: If I take out the spare tire, its a Kidnapper's Deluxe.

Kidnapper's Deluxe by Silentwatch January 11, 2009